Breastfeeding with Mummy! (Part2)

Over the last few days, Mummy and I have been chatting about the benefits of Breastfeeding. We have both felt some of the benefits of this already; the deeper the trust and connection is, vaster and deeper the feelings of bliss and general arousal there is... But we have also discovered that with continued and constant practice and conditioning, over time these feelings, will be re-enforced and become very natural.

Over the last few days, Mummy and I have been chatting about the benefits of Breastfeeding. Despite all the 'feel good' drugs and hormones that were being produced, we both agrees that at that moment in time, mummy could not afford to give away a single drop of her essential nutrient.

ed producing milkef or a felt some of the benefits of this already; the deeper connection, the feelings of bliss and joy, the erotic arousal... But we also know that with continued and constant practice and conditioning, these feelings will, in time, be re-enforced and become natural.

Mummy can not always 'feed' me when I am in baby mode, but even when she breastfeeds me in 'adult' mode, I still easily regress into a peaceful and childlike state of happiness! Its like I surrender everything so completely that the universe vanishes and all there is is Mummy and me. It is addictive and intoxicating and I know that over time we will actually develop a deep maternal and nurturing bond between us. This really excites and scares me a little bit, to be so utterly dependent and intrinsically bound to someone you love is a huge commitment for both of us.

In a way it is like the ultimate adult baby fantasy, but the more the fantasy becomes real, the more I worry about how it will ultimately effect our dynamic in the long term. A part of me is very submissive and I guess I am a bit of a masochist too. Ultimately, I wonder how far these needs and urges will evolve and manifest as mine and mummies relationship evolves.

When I am fully in the role of 'Rosie', there is no adult me to spoil the experience, but, if i was in adult mode, the thought of wetting myself, dressed a little girl would mortify me!

The more we play and experiment with our 'roles' the more they seem to become real. At some points, it is lime i really am a child that loves, needs and wants her mummy and her constant approval.

There are books written on the 'inter-personal' dynamics of people. Basically it states that we all either identify and relate with 1) Parent mode, 2) Adult mode and 3) child mode. When someone talks back at you from a parental status, it is difficult to respond from an adult mode and vise versa.. When I communicate to ;mummy' in child mode, it was easier for her to respond in 'Adult mode.

Eventually, even though it was a matter of weeks, these 'roles' started to become normalized. Instead of feeling like roles that we were acting out, it allowed each of us to express a part of our being that, once normally hidden and forbidden, felt perfectly natural and normal.

I'm sure that there are millions of definitions of what 'LOVE' is out there. I'm sure that we have all experienced many different types of love, as I myself have experienced a wide spectrum of relationships that I had labelled as love.

However, I am sure I have said it elsewhere in this blog?! The love that i felt for 'mommy' far surpassed anything i had previously felt before! I am not merely saying that because it was 'fun' and i enjoyed it. I am saying that because it was unlike any 'bonding' or relationship i had ever encountered in my current life.

If I was dressed how mummy dressed me and was securely fastened into a nice dry and fresh nappy and i felt girly and cute, I would hold onto a fluffy teddy bear, laying in mummies lap and be in complete heaven. On those occasion (every 4 or 5 hours) that i was to breastfeed, My joy lust, connection to mummy and the bonding was not only increased, but re-enforced too.

Many 'usual' men have dreams of being famous, or a millionaire, a sportsmen, a rocket scientist or something... but not me! At this moment in time, I feel like I am the luckiest and happiest person in the whole wide world. When I am Rosie and I am with Mummy, there is no worlds except me and My mummy!

Breastfeeding with Mummy! (Part1)

Feeding Time!

Like I said in the previous post, I have now been with Mummy for a few months now and we have had the opportunity to explore the dynamic that is slowly evolving between us.

The first few times I was dressed as a baby/little girl, I was so uncomfortable with it all that I kind of 'detached' myself from it all. It was like it was me, but it wasn't me and I was watching it all from a safe distance.

It was around this time that Mummy actually started to lactate! The catalyst for this was down to a medicine Mummy was getting from the doctors (Domperidone). To be honest, even in 'baby mode', I had never even fantasized about being breastfed and the thought of it made me a little bit uncomfortable and embarrassed. Mummy started to express the milk and slowly the quantity started to increase.

We continued to play our Mummy and Baby roles when we got the opportunity and I started to become a bit more comfortable with acting and being treated like a child. I still could not fully let go and I still felt a bit silly wearing a nappy, sucking a dummy and acting like a little girl. Mummy was better at being mummy than I was at being a little girl. Mummy was a natural at it!

After researching about 'Adult Nursing Relationships' (ANR's) and realising the loving and bonding benefits of breastfeeding, I decided to give it a try. After all, isn't that what babies naturally do? Didn't I want to fully explore my adult baby side and see what I found lurking about there? It felt a bit weird for both of us at first. It was like we could not get fully into it. But then, after a few times of trying it and getting into role beforehand.... that magical moment arrived!

Mummy had put me in my nappy and plastic pants and put a really cute play dress on me. I was put into bed and given my pink dummy to suckle on. I was already starting to regress ,but when Mummy started talking to me like I really was a little girl, I really started getting into the role. Mummy then got comfortable and told me it was feeding time... I latched on to her nipple and slowly started to suckle. Dressed like a baby and sucking on Mummy's breast made me feel so childish. I started to feel very peaceful, safe and protected and with each gulp of Mummies milk, I began to drift as though I was on a narcotic high! It felt amazing, more than amazing... I felt a moment of completion, a moment where I felt I didn't need anything else in the whole world. I was with Mummy and I was safe, loved and being cared for in the most primal and basic way any mother and child could.

Meeting Mummy :)

It was amongst my closest kinky friends that I often partied with, that my fantasies and desires really started to become more real. It was Christmas 2010. I had been chatting with a very close friend about my inner child stuff after I realized she acted really childish and said babyish things at times. After chatting about this, she admitted that she would love to try dressing up as a toddler or baby and was up for exploring it all.

We were going to be staying with other friends just after Christmas so that we could all celebrate it again properly amongst real friends and our own sense of  'family'! I'd agreed that I would bring some nappies and onesies for us to dress up in. I also bought her a couple of dummies to open as a Christmas present!

When the party eventually came, I chickened out of dressing up but 'BamBams' (her baby name) decided to go for it. We put her in her nappy and buttoned her onesie on and then gave her her new dummy to suck on. BamBam regressed quite easily and naturally and drew out the maternal feelings of another close friend, Marie.

Watching BamBam and Marie play mummy and daughter was amazing. BamBam regressed more as Mummy bacame more maternal and vice versa. They both really enjoyed it and each got a real sense of connection on another level, a deeper level. They enjoyed it so much in fact that they created new 'roles' and that night, BamBam and Mummy were born!

Mummies Sexy Legs!

I had already met Marie a few times and I had felt a connection the very first time that we had chatted together properly. Marie was a self confessed sadist and loved tying people up and flogging them if they asked nicely enough. Truth was, there was a genuine warm, light and loving charm about her that complimented the deliciously dark side to her nature beautifully.

Unfortunately, at the time she was in a relationship with another guy and any hope of us exploring our connection further, was put on hold. It wasn't until she had moved on from the ending of that relationship that things really started to change. We agreed that we did had fun together and that we complimented each other in many kinky ways and wanted to explore things more between us, so decided to go for it and have some fun!

I was over the moon and on cloud nine! I told myself to just take things very slowly and see how it all develops and to just have fun. That was a couple of months ago though now and things have changed a lot since then!

Making Contact

I felt that I had 'turned a corner' so to speak when i first wet my nappy! Other ABDL's that I had chatted with on forums had said it would.. But I never really realized how much wetting my nappy would make me regress!

It really is very difficult indeed to feel like an adult when you are sucking on a dummy wearing baby clothes clothes with a wet nappy! it's that simple!

Picture taken by 'Nanny'

The TV Nanny I had been emailing was now in a position to invite me over to play my infantile role and I had bought the dolls and a few other things in preparation. I didn't even like dolls and thought that they were silly, especially for a grown man to own.

We set a date and with a mixture of excitement, apprehension, embarrassment and curiosity I drove to "Nanny's" house. At first I was dressed like a little girl for a while before I was told that I was 'acting like a baby... so should be treated like one'. I was bathed, dried and then put into a disposable nappy with a cute pink baby dress and ankle socks. I was then given a bottle of baby milk to drink.

I was then fed a meal of baby food and given another bottle of milk. Nanny then placed me down on the living room rug where I lay sucking on my dummy feeling very exposed and very unsure of myself. I was given another bottle to drink and it wasn't too long before i needed to pee. I wasn't sure if Nanny wanted me to wet myself so I told her I needed to go wee wee's. I was told to use my nappy as that was what it was there for!

It took me about 20mins before I could actually force myself to wet my nappy. after I wet my nappy a wave of 'manhood' came over me and I started to ask myself what the hell I was doing!?! There I was laying on my back in a strange mans house who liked to dress as a woman... while I myself lay there dressed like a baby girl, sucking a dummy with a wet nappy!

The whole experience was very weird and gave me conflicting emotions. However, not long after wetting my nappy, Nanny ended the role-play session and sent me home. It ended quite abruptly and I was confused as to what had happened to change things the way they did.

I learnt afterwards that 'Nanny' was getting quite aroused by my baby play and wanted to do naughty things with me that went against everything that we had previously agreed. I'm kind of glad I had the experience as it did start to clarify a few things in my mind as well.

I really did want to share this aspect of myself with someone and it had to be the 'right' person who kind of understood my needs and desires. I kept looking on various networking sites and forums but wasn't having any luck in finding a female carer. Then all that started to change very quickly when I finally started to open up to my kinky friends about my ABDL desires.

First Wet Nappy!

I was still going to fetish clubs and parties and would dress as a maid, or I would wear latex or some other kinky outfit, but I never dreamed as going as an adult baby! I had lots of kinky friends and some very close kinky friends but I still kept my AB side private. I still found it all very embarrassing and a bit weird!

The picture I sent to 'Nanny' of me with my doll

Then one day I got chatting to another local person. A TV/crossdresser that wanted to try being a 'Nanny'. We chatted for a while and was asked what adult baby things I had so far... I was told that I needed to buy a doll to bring with me! I found it difficult to buy a doll. I spent ages on eBay looking for a large doll to buy but I just felt silly doing so. However, 'Nanny' said to buy a doll, so I did!

It was about this time that I first plucked up the courage to actually wet my nappy! I can remember it being a really big thing at the time. I finally decided that I simply had to try it. I had been told by numerous online AB's that there is nothing more babyish than wetting your nappy. After drinking lots of milk and juice my bladder was full and I stood in the shower, just in case I leaked! I stood there for about 10mins really trying to pee, but I couldn't.

Even though I really wanted too and my bladder was full, I just couldn't let go. It was I had a built in mechanism that stopped me. I had another drink and tried again an hour later... by this time I was absolutely bursting! I stood in the shower again and tried again. I imagined I was stood at a urinal in a gents toilet and finally after another long agonising wait, a few drips started to emerge. I persevered and finally my bladder emptied itself into my nappy. I knew not to let it all go at once so that my nappy could absorb it quickly enough. Oh! the shame of actually wetting myself.